There was a time not so long ago when all I wanted was for S to talk. I worried, fretted and blogged about it. As everyone promised, she eventually did start talking. Now I have a different, somewhat predictable problem: I can’t get her to stop! She chatters constant nonsense from the second she opens her eyes until she finally falls asleep.
She is loud and has nothing interesting to say.
The unceasing high-pitched noise has me overstimulated at all times. I can’t think straight. I swear we could replace water-boarding with 24-hour recordings of her and prisoners would confess everything.
She does say cute things. My favorite is that she calls animals by the sounds they make. When she sees a monkey she calls it “ah-ah-hoo-hoo.” Obviously, I show her monkeys all the time. She thinks the happy birthday song is actually “happy cake,” but she can’t pronounce cake very well. She proudly belted out her version at my father’s birthday recently:
Happy cock is Papa! Happy cock is Papa! Happy co-ock is Papa, Happy cock is Papa!
What drives me crazy is the noise she fills all quiet space with. The talking for no reason, with nothing to say. We can drive for 20 minutes with her repeating, “Go home, Mommy? Me in? Go home, Mommy? Me in? Go home, Mommy? Me in?” The fact that I answer her has no impact on her continuing to question if we are in fact going home, and if I’m going to let her inside rather than leave her out in the car. (WTF?) Worse is when we’re not going home, then we have this conversation:
S: Go home, Mommy?
me: No, S. We’re going to the market, then we’re going to pick up L, then home.
S: Go home, Mommy?
me: No. First the market, then L, then home.
S: Pick up Unna? [Her name for L]
me: Yes. First the market, then L, then home.
S: Go home Mommy?
me: $#%&*@!
This can go on forever. Nothing makes it stop, except one thing that is even more loathsome than this conversation – playing a certain children’s CD, but only repeating an irritatingly chipper version of “If You’re Happy and You Know it.” I try not to do that until I’m considering driving into a lake.
So, be careful what you wish for. I wanted her to talk and I got it. Apparently she’s making up for lost time. God willing, her neck will grow soon and her vocal chords with it and the pitch of her voice will come down a bit. I’m not even going to bother hoping for the volume to come down. She and her brother have 2 volumes: shouting and screaming.
Just READING it makes me want to veer onto oncoming traffic, so having to HEAR it would definitely push me over the edge. I’mma pray for you. Put her to bed and make a big Momtini.
This scenario is exactly why my husband gave me a portable dvd player for Mother’s Day! Best present ever. When I can’t take it anymore in the car, the backseat gets to enjoy Curious George. So, yeah, it’s basically permanently installed.
My 17yr old’s non-stop talking bothers me more than the 2yr old’s. In fact the 2yr old’s doesn’t bother me at all. I guess I have more patience and tolerance for the toddler’s incessant questions, etc., but not so much for the teenager’s. She should know by now when not to disturb me, right? That it’s ok not to talk? That silence is golden? Ugh…She’s damn near an adult!
I know exactly what you are talking about! I had a moment in the car today when I realized that my 5.5 year old autistic son was singing along with the Black Eyed Peas to their song Tonight’s going to be a good night!! It hit me that at one point in life when he was about two-ish we thought that he would never talk. He also went though a phase just like what you describe, and it was a phase……a really annoying phase. I second the dvd player for the car, just make sure you also buy headphones! That is one of the best purchases we have ever made!
So glad to know I’m not the only one…when my youngest wouldn’t stop repeating the same question over and over…and over and over…no matter how many times I answered him, I finally just started repeating that same question back to him….over and over…eventually he started crying…I was like, “Yeah, now you know how I feel!”
my little cousin was the same way. She didnt talk until nearly three. Then she started. and never EVER stopped. SHE TALKS IN HER SLEEP!!!!!! so at least you get that break…
Oh GIRL. Same question. Same incessant question. Over and over and over and over and over. And over.
And I thought road rage was about the other drivers.
http://www.toulouseandtonic.com
I have said repeatedly that if we offered my lovely Miss M to the FBI, her screeching, whining and constant repetitive sentences would qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. Prisoners would start confessing immediately!
M does the same things–over and over and over and over asking if she is going to Grandpa’s house. Doesn’t matter if I say yes or no, or how many times–still asking. Loudly.
I. Feel. Your. Pain.
High-octave alien chicken voice that never, ever stops. Since she was a year old.
I wub this post. Thank you 🙂
ROFL, this post is especially hilarious to me because I am in a similar boat! My 2 year old doesn’t come across quite as annoying to me, whether she is just a level “down” from S, or I have more saint like patience ( YEAH RIGHT, lol), I’m not sure. But I totally completely hear you, from the NONSTOP nonsense chattering, to the elevated decibels!It’s been miserable, rainy, cold, etc. the past week, so over the course of my conversations with her (I’m a WAHM), she picked up the word “raining”. For the past few days, the majority of her time is spent excitedly saying “Raining! Mommy, raining! Raining Mommy!” (in her not quite clear pronunciation, not sure how to translate haha). Doesn’t matter how much I acknowledge that “Yes it is!”, I am treated to hours of this forecast, LOL! I know, your brain just buzzes until you feel like exploding if you don’t hear some silence! She is pretty good though, if it’s getting to be too much, I tell her “Mommy’s ears are hurting. I need some quiet please.”…. if she doesn’t comply (most of the time), I tell her to take a break. She gets put in a safe place, like the front porch or her bedroom for 5-10 minutes. This does us both a lot of good, not only do I get to wind down, but it’s like she needed that alone time to un-stimulate too! When I go get her, I thank her, and ask if she’s ready to be a civil person — er, I mean, ready for a quiet activity! Then we paint, do a puzzle, read a book, anything quiet-ish like that. I wish I could say try that at your house, but with L as a role model, I’m guessing it won’t fly! Poor you.
P.S. It came up as a different ID for some reason, I’m the new reader who has been going back reading every single post, lol! I usually comment from the work computer, guess this one doesn’t recognize me?
I’ve got one of these. During my son’s first week in kindergarten I found out he was off green (happy face) and on yellow (kind of a neutral face) because he wouldn’t shut the F up! I love my little guy, but he’s a wall of noise. I don’t think he even realizes he’s talking. Can I suggest a great Christmas present? I’m thinking of getting them for our home. Ear plugs for you. A muzzle for S.
Ah it seems we are living the same life…you have my sympathies.
Happy cock is papa?! LMFAO. This is one of your funniest posts ever.
I can barely retain what I just read, there’s too much toddler talking behind me. 🙂 I feel ya, woman!
Replace “If you’re happy and you know it” with “Wheels on the Bus” and we’re living in parallel cars. Only instead of “Going home Mama?” I get a constant barrage of “No home Mommy! Nooo home!” from the back seat. Really? Is the warm cozy house we strive to provide for you so terribly horrible? To hear my little guy talk, you’d think our basement was full of mid-evil torture devices rather than trains and legos and horrendous singing tractors. Hmmm – maybe that’s the problem right there. In any case, when it gets to be too much I just give in and we go to “Mommy coffee shop!” instead, which stops the whining and makes us all happy.
This post cracked me up!! I’m over here LMAO! This is what I imagine my daughter will be like when she starts *really* talking. We’re still in the *wishing* stages, though she’s 7 (and has special needs) and I’d give anything for her to be able to tell me how she’s feeling or things she needs. I pray for the kind of words your “S” is saying. Our girl is coming along though and we rejoice at every new word.
Guess this talking thing is a double edged sword though huh? LOL. My mom is already saying — oh just you wait, you two! Just wait until she’s talking all the time and she won’t stop!
Enjoy the talking, be grateful she is…and then go buy yourself some headphones & a large glass of wine! HA! 😉 Thanks for the laugh!
My 3 year old asks me many pointless questions especially when I am driving and need to concentrate as does my 13 year old 😦 love your blog hun.
Three letters: LOL!!
After calmly and nicely(as possible) repeating the same answer five times with no end in sight, I just raise the volume slightly on the radio which does not make him happy but i mine as well hear my music cause hes not going to shut up either way. but i mean that in the nicest way…
I just laughed so hard. I COMPLETELY understand how you feel. My two yr old never stops talking and its always the worse when Im driving. I feel awful because I’ll be like shhhhhhh mommy wants you to stop talking for a just a minute. Of course that does no good and makes it worse. Just know you are NOT alone:)
LMAO I actually started laughing at work at S’s birthday song.
My dad always says daughters, once they start talking … they never stop!
OMG-this was too funny…I have 4 boys and I have to say that boys can be just as bad. My 13 year old talks non stop about so many different things at the same time that you have no clue what he’s talking about in the first place. The 3 year old talks non stop on the way home and while you can understand what he says just doesn’t make sense. The 17 yr old is a little better but still yaks a lot. The only reprieve I have is that our 15 month old just babbles and doesn’t talk yet other than mama, dadda and bath…not looking forward to when he starts talking because he already babbles nonsense already!!!
I have all boys and none of them are that young anymore. The youngest is seven. While I’m glad they enjoy “visiting” with me, yes sometimes too much is just TOO MUCH!! I have a particularly good time when they start going on about legos or pokemon or (Oh happy happy joy!) some previous Spongebob episode. I start getting that glazed over look and then I stop them……..”Oh hey! I totally forgot to tell you!!! I went to Hobby Lobby today and they had these Barbie stickers! They had pink ones and ones with butterflies! THere were these super sweet unicorn stickers and they had flowers in their hair!………” They usually walk away! Go figure?!
Ahhh, remember the days of driving alone and being able to just zone out while you cruised along? I wrote a similar post not long ago about my own annoying daughter and how she won’t stop interviewing me every time we get in the car. I feel your pain. My ears are ringing by the time my kids go to bed. My daughter is older that S, and I wish I could tell you it gets better, but, alas, mine is as chatty as ever. Girls just seem to have a lot of words per day that they need to get out.
Our youngest could be a ventriloquist! We often wonder if she’s of a different species than the rest of us lol! We are all loud and boustorius..and she is quiet. ALthough every now in then she’ll take to yelling what she has to say in the car, and then we know she really is one of us!!! Good luck with the high pitched-ness!
[…] mentioned before that S has nothing interesting to say, and yet she talks constantly. I’ve tried explaining to her what ought to be said aloud, and […]