Another morning, another time I need a drink before noon. But this time, L was good. He was so so so good. He was brave and polite and strong and I’m so very proud of him. Today he got plaster casts on both of his legs. O.M.G.
Any parent who lives through a sick or hurt child, I don’t know how you do it! I spent 4 hours at a hospital with my perfectly healthy little boy and still felt like crying.
Why in the world did L need to get casts on both of his legs, you ask? Because he walks on his toes. Why doesn’t anyone tell you all the little things that seem benign but really aren’t? Who would have guessed that my cute, springy, tip-toeing child was really shortening his Achilles tendons to the point where he cannot stand flat-footed anymore? I have no idea when he started walking on his toes, because I never paid any attention to it. He certainly hasn’t been held back in any kind of observable physical way. He’s constantly running, jumping, climbing etc. But he was never doing any of it on flat feet. Why didn’t I know this was a bad thing? Why didn’t I help him before he damaged his little body?
Today I took him to see a children’s orthopedic surgeon. I expected maybe some kind of leg brace to sleep in or something. Instead I was told that he will likely need to wear braces on both legs ALL THE TIME for the next couple of years. But first he will spend several weeks in casts. Each week we will return to the hospital to get the casts removed and new casts put on. As his Achilles tendons stretch each week, his feet will be fixed in a more flexed position in the new casts.
L was terrified. He cried. He was afraid it would hurt. He did not like any of it. But he held my hand, did as he was told, and now is learning how to walk and get around in these horrible things. The doctor told us he’s not allowed to take a bath. L cried, “But I love taking baths!” I gave him a hug and when he pulled free he asked the doctor, “Can I still jump on the bed?”
He did not fall apart, act rudely, behave poorly in any way. And we were there for HOURS. He said thank you to the very people who did the very things he hated.
He can’t walk on the wood or tile floors in my house. The casts on the hard surfaces are like ice skates. But his spirits are still high. And I still just want to cry. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a small bump in the road. He is healthy. He isn’t in pain. He’s going to be fine. But my poor, active, running and jumping boy is hobbled in casts and will be for a long time. And my brave, polite, awesome little boy is going to have to go back to the hospital week after week and endure the sawing off of old casts and the putting on of new ones. And I have to be there too.
I am so grateful that I have healthy children. That hospitals are not a regular part of our lives. I keep telling L how proud I am. He sighs in exasperation, “I know that, Mom. Why do you keep on telling me that?” I want to smother him in hugs and kisses, but now that’s more dangerous than usual. Getting kicked with one of those things is not going to feel good.
Poor L! What a strange bunch of worries we carry around—especially the ones we didn’t know were troubling. Tip-toeing = bad. Who knew?
Hope his legs are back in unfettered action quicker than expected. Also hope you pour yourself a drink sometime today. You were probably very brave, too.
Holy crap, that is CRAZY! Believe me, I would be in tears over this as well. When my little E chipped his front tooth at 2.5 years and my pediatrician friend told me that the worst-case-scenario was that the tooth might have to be removed, I nearly freaked out, imagining poor little E having a gaptooth for YEARS until his adult tooth came in and imagining it would affect his eating and his speech, etc. My friend had to gently put me in my place that a missing front tooth is NOTHING compared to the things she sees in her practice. Anyway, all I’m saying is that L’s situation is way worse than E’s, so I really admire your efforts to be brave about this. No, it is not as awful as leukemia or something but, still, one cannot deny the unusualness and inconvenience of all of this. Obviously it is going to affect him (and you! and S! and T!) both mentally and physically for him to go through all of this possibly for years. I am very sorry and I wish you all the best as all of you get used to this new reality.
We know that in the big scheme of things we are blessed to have healthy children but it’s still hard when they have to go through even the smallest of pains or discomforts. When my daughter cries at getting her shots it makes me cry too. He will be back on his feet (not his toes) in no time and it will all be a vague memory for him. He sounds like a great little man already, good job Mommy!
When my sister was in the first grade she had the exact same problem. Had to actually have surgery to stretch the tendons and then was in casts for 6 weeks.
We’re hoping that because we caught it at a younger age we will be able to just fix it with the casts and braces. If not, surgery is the next step. 😦
Poor baby! Hopefully there won’t be any surgery! Casts are bad enough!
Oh Allison….what an ordeal for all of you!!! I know we don’t actually know each other but I truly feel sorry about all this for you guys!
Like you said, it’s not something that “won’t go away” but MAN. My 4 yo boy is by far my most active child and he does ALL the things you have described in past posts — climbing the walls, running, jumping, etc more than most children. I, like you, secretly like it when he is sick because his activity level goes down a few notches to something that feels more managable to me ( I once asked my husband if that makes me a bad parent). At his preschool my son is considered on the extreme end of the spectrum in terms of his need for large motor skill activity EVERY DAY. In fact, his behavior is directly related often times to how much physical activity he has had or not had that day. (which is why, incidentally, I want to put my head through a wall every winter). I just cannot imagine having to ask him of all people to not run around. That would be SO HARD…on ALL of us here. You really do have my sympathies.
I’d also like to say that my son, ideally, would be raised on a farm where he could use shovels and tools and feed animals and carry heavy things and work all day and he would be occupied and totally satisfied. Too bad I can’t even grow herbs in a pot. lol
How wonderful, though, that L sounds like he is dealing with it really well. What a sweetheart! You have obviously done something right. 🙂 Lastly, hope this doesn’t offend you, but I’ll say a quick prayer for your family, L’s smooth recovery, etc. Sending good thoughts your way!
Please consider your self very luck and blessed for your home life as well. I am a full time working mother and my 3yo son is in daycare. I can not imagine having to go thru that let alone having to get time off from work for every trip. Him having to go thru that and going to school and being held back from doing such things or the slippery floor of the lunch room and any other hazards that might be there that I wouldn’t be able to control. GOOD LUCK!
What a beautiful and heart-wrenching post. It is incredibly difficult to see your children go through illness or health scares–even if they aren’t life-threatening.
One thing that shined through in your post was L’s bravery and kindness. I know you’ve been through a lot together in the last little while, so it seemed like a ray of sun was shining through reading this.
Good luck to L (and to you)!
Just found your blog, I think you have a new fan. It is painful being a mommy sometimes, isn’t it? How about physical therapy? My daughter’s therapist deals with toe walkers all of the time.
Bless L’s heart and yours!
When my first born was four he got a concussion. He fell off the chair in the kitchen….we’re still not sure if he hit the granite counter top or the tile. Three adults and two other children were all there when it happened. When he started throwing up two hours after he hit his head we knew we had to take him to the hospital. I kept thinking to myself it was a chair not a four story building that he fell from. 72 hours later he got to come home. Super restrictive schedule and no fun keeping a four year old boy contained.
Best of luck to you all!
Oh, Allison, I’m so sorry. First kitty. Then this. Tough month for you. I know that (thank God) L will recover from this and it’s not a (God forbid) terminal illness – but man, I am really feeling for you guys here. I just told my husband that you and L and your family are dealing with this and he was like, geez, I have no idea who you are talking about, but that is just awful. So yes, I’m glad this too shall pass for you guys but that doesn’t diminish that fact that it totally sucks. Thinking good thoughts for you over here…
Poor L! Sounds like you both are being very brave! I couldn’t imagine that!! I hope things start looking up quicker than the doctors think they will. This must be really hard for you all. I honestly could not begin to fathom how hard this is for you. I’ll be thinking of you guys often!
I know tiptoe-walking was asked about at both my kids’ dr appts, but I never thought much of it. I was a dancer when I was little and always walked that way. My kids do it a lot, too. Didn’t realize it could actually be damaging.
Poor guy. Consider his cast signed by me, Mr T & Miss A.
So sorry to hear this. My goodness I don’t think I would have noticed that so much either. All kids seem to go through a phase of doing that. Hopefully he will heal up faster than thought by the doctors. Best wishes and don’t beat yourself up. Hugs.
I am one of those moms you mentioned who has a child with major medical issues. We are often greeted by name at our local children’s hospital. I’ve watched (and held) my son while he’s gone through more than most adults could endure. It never gets easier, but it does become more manageable. It also sucks. Really REALLY sucks. Try to take some comfort in the fact your son showed his true colors today and you have one amazing kid. He will make it through and it will be a distant memory perhaps not soon, but soon enough. Hang in there.
Poor L! But, he was immensely brave and no wonder you’re so proud of him! 🙂 ((Hugs))
I’m sorry, Allison! That is rough. In the spirit of hope that your son’s positive attitude will not wear (too) thin, my daughter has a lot of minor chronic ailments (dairy allergy, recurrent UTIs, etc.) and she thinks doctors visits are fun (as long as they don’t involve a blood draw. In the last 10 days we’ve had a kidney ultrasound and an EKG (both clear, thank God), and she was a trooper through it all. (I, however, have been a closet wreck.) She does like to play doctor (in the true kid sense of the term- her “babies” are forever puking, etc.). Here’s hoping that L will remain positive and that the new normal won’t be too wearing for you after a while.
That sounds terrible, poor L! He’s being such a trooper considering. As an adult I doubt I’d be as brave but instead would whine and sulk at the terribleness of it all. Hope everything goes okay with the casts and he’s back to running (flat footed!) in no time!
That’s just heart breaking. 😦
Poor kid…poor Mama. That really sucks.
I looked into this when Matt was younger b/c he was running on his toes a lot. It went away, but it threw me for a loop!
How long does he need them on for?
Sounds like he was a trooper though…I’m with you. I give all the credit in the world to parents who continually have to deal with medical issues. They are rock stars.
I can’t begin to tell you how important your blog was to me today. This past weekend when my children came down to Palm Springs, I noticed, once again, that my 2 1/2 year old grandchild was occasionally walking on her tiptoes while we were at the Children’s Museum. I had previously noticed it weeks ago when we were visiting them but didn’t pay much attention at the time. Now, I will bring this to my daughter’s attention to see if she is aware of it and suggest she mention this to the pediatrician. She does not walk this way all the time but it should be brought to the doctor’s attention.
Thank you
Damn girl/ I’m so sorry. You’ve had a week and a half – I know the little man is in the cast… but I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to watch him uncomfortable, humbled and confused.
Thinking of you guys.
Oh man. I’m sorry to hear this. But you did nail it when you said your kids are healthy. This too shall pass I guess.
I’m so glad L was able to endure. Sometimes crying helps Allison. If you need to do it, do it. Then move on like good mommies always do :0)
Hugs to you and L.
I was born with this exact.same.club foot. For myself, I had surgery when i was 18 months old. I was the worst case the doctor had seen. They had to cut and stretch my achilles tendons. My only advice, because I did not do this at ALL in my entire life, and have never been able to run or do P.E. in school, etc. and get HORRIFIC tendonitis… if he does have surgery, stretch his feeties for him. My mom did it for like a week when i was little.. she would let me read to her, and she would put back on my toes, to stretch out my heel cords. I’m obviously fine and it doesnt hinder me, i just can’t go jogging without having a tendoitis flare up, which feels just like “growing” pains. He should be just fine 🙂 I still went on to ride, and jump horses, even though I couldn’t get my heels down.. I’m a normal, happy, healthy woman of *cough cough* twenty.. fi*cough cough*
Oy Vey! I wonder if they have roller skates for casts like that.
I know exactly where you are coming from. When I became “mom” to my step son he was 4, and this very same issue was a problem for him. He ALWAYS walked on his tip toes. This is how he ran, walked, stood, etc. He had already seen doctors about it, and they had fitted him for braces, but being clever like he was, he would often take them off when he was alone, defeating the purpose. When he outgrew them, it was about a year before we could get in to see about getting him refitted, and they relocated from SC to TX, just before we got married. I took him to an Orthopedic specialist, then to a neurologist because the specialist advised to have him checked out. Apparently this type of physical behavior is often caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain, usually at birth. When my stepson was born he had a collapsed lung, and did spend a few extra days in the hospital. He always stood on his tiptoes from the start, and after trying physical therapy for about 6 weeks with no results (other than alot of crying and fighting us on doing his exercises) we also had the double casting. Every 2 weeks we went in for recasts to further flex his feet. After 2 months of casting we went into new braces, and other than when he was swimming or bathing, he wore them 24/7. After 2 more years of braces, he is able to go without them, but he still reverts to tiptoes from time to time. The neurologist says that he has to “retrain” his brain on how to walk properly. We try to keep him in hitops and boots that are more difficult to bend. Otherwise he’s pretty normal. Since he started school before this happened, and did all the casting, etc in Kindergarten, his friends at school got used to it and he didn’t endure any teasing or problems from kids, I’m guessing because they already knew him and it didn’t change that. Luckily he didn’t have any issues last year when we moved to a new school either. I’m now homeschooling him, so it isn’t an issue at all since we are around mostly kids from our church who have known him for years.
One thing I would encourage for you is to try and keep him as physically active as you can while he’s in the braces. It will get him used to them as quickly as possible and he’ll realize how much he really can do with them.
There is also some genetic connections to walking like this. His dad does it too, particularly when he’s tired, or sleepy, though nowhere near the extent that J did. Hubby was never treated for it. My sister also walks this way, though only after she had a massive brain injury in a car accident and learned to walk again. Her doctors advised us that many people with traumatic brain injuries walk on their tiptoes afterwards. Just something to ponder and think about.
As a mom on the “other” side of your journey, it isn’t as bad as you might feel, and kids are really resiliant. J didn’t miss a beat doing things as usual. After awhile he won’t even remember they are there, and neither will you. 🙂